About Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You: Chiasmus and a World of Quotations That Say What They Mean and Mean What They Say

Never Let A Fool Kiss You Or A Kiss Fool You
Hardcover edition: 1999
Paperback edition: 2002
Publisher: Viking Penguin

Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You is the first popular book ever published about chiasmus (ky-AZ-mus), the fascinating literary and rhetorical device that lies behind some of the most thought-provoking and memorable things ever said or written, including Cicero's "One should eat to live, not live to eat," "Mae West's "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men," and Lenny Bruce's "In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls." If you're a word, language, or quotation lover, you're going to enjoy this book.

Chiasmus is probably not part of your current vocabulary—or the vocabulary of your friends and colleagues. So once you begin using the word, you'll impress people with your erudition. And maybe you'll even put a few know-it-alls in their place as you toss out a quote they've never heard before and add innocently, "As you know, that's a particularly fine example of chiasmus."

A working knowledge of chiasmus can also add some special moments to your life, as you share your own chiastic creations with others—sometimes quite spontaneously. While having dinner with friends recently, someone asked me about my hopes for the book. I said, "Well, I've had a wealth of experience, so I guess I'm hoping this book will provide me with … I don't know … " and then it hit me, so I finished the thought off in the only way possible, "I guess I'd have to say … an experience of wealth." We all laughed heartily, and there were "oohs" and "aahs" from all around as people marveled at my extemporaneous chiastic reply.

Even though it happens rarely, every now and then a book takes an obscure word, idea, or concept and moves it into the world of popular usage. That's what I'm trying to do with this book. Even though almost all people are familiar with the phenomenon of chiasmus, almost nobody knows about the word itself. My goal is to make chiasmus a household word, in that same way that oxymoron, also an obscure word a few decades ago, is now known by virtually all literate people.

But this is not a book about the word chiasmus, it is mainly a book of quotations, all of them examples of chiasmus. The first chapter introduces the concept and describes some details about chiasmus, including the fascinating etymology of the word and how every quote in the book can be "marked with an X."

The rest of the book is a collection of chiastic quotations, organized by category. Some of the quotes are "classics," like JFK's "Ask not what your country can do for you" line, but most you'll be seeing for the first time, like these quotes from the contemporary political arena:

It is not enough to preach about family values, we must value families.

—Hillary Rodham Clinton

We will lead with the power of our example, but be prepared, when necessary, to make an example of our power.

—Bill Clinton

Speaker Newt Gingrich says that what is wrong with the present system is not that people abuse welfare but that welfare abuses people.

—Daniel Schorr

This is about principled compromise, not compromised principle.

—John Hume, Nobel laureate, on Ireland's 1998 Good Friday peace accord

In addition to presenting some of the most intriguing quotes ever assembled, Never Let a Fool Kiss You occasionally tells fascinating stories behind famous chiastic quotes. About JFK's immortal "Ask not" line, for example, the book reveals that it may not have been completely original with Kennedy, but was probably inspired by similar sentiments going back for many decades, including one about Harvard University from LeBaron Briggs, a popular turn-of-the-century writing professor at Harvard.

The quotes I've just mentioned all come from the chapter on "Political Chiasmus." You can expect to find similar stories, and equally fresh and original quotes, in every one of the other chapters of the book.

Praise for the Book

A few years ago, I discovered that Alex Beam, a Boston Globe columnist, was one of the few people I'd met who actually knew what chiasmus meant. In a 1996 column, he described an early version of my manuscript this way:

Nothing short of fantastic.

The noted poet X. J. Kennedy is the author of numerous volumes of poetry as well as three popular college textbooks on writing, literature, and poetry. Kennedy had this to say after reading my manuscript:

After Mardy Grothe's heroic labors, will we ever be the same again? The word chiasmus being new to me, I was dumbfounded to find that this powerful rhetorical device so permeates our lives and, in the work of great writers from East to West, circles the globe. Mardy Grothe, a knowing guide, wears his learning lightly. I can't imagine that anyone else will ever explore this profound and regaling topic in such depth and breadth. For anyone who gets high on words, this book will be better than two double bourbons.

As thrilled as I was to read these words, I was overwhelmed when Kennedy wrote me several weeks later telling me he had been inspired to write his first piece of chiastic verse. His poem Saphonisba proves what happens when truly creative minds begin to explore the potential of chiasmus. The poem, which is brilliant in my opinion, appears for the first time ever in print in the introductory chapter of Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You.

John Humphrey is a founder of The Forum Corporation, a leading training and development firm, and one of the founders of the entire field of training and development (last year the American Society for Training and Development honored him for his lifetime contribution to the field). Humphrey's also an accomplished wordsmith who delivers many sparkling speeches every year. He said this:

My father's admonition to always 'say what you mean and mean what you say' is hardwired into my thought and action. Mardy Grothe has both helped me understand why and enriched my ability to have equally powerful impact on people through words. I only wish that my father had also warned me about 'kisses and fools.'

Humphrey had other heartwarming things to say as well:

This is a great book! I need three copies for myself plus a carton to give to friends. I need one copy to use in preparing presentations that have a lasting impact; I need one copy for engaging short moment entertainment; and I need one copy to put on the reading table in our guest room.

Here are a few more reviews that have warmed my heart:

A wonderful little book.

—Christopher Lydon, host of the NPR talk show, "The Connection"

What a magnificent gem of a book!

—Robert Perloff, Ph.D., distinguished professor of psychology and business administration, The University of Pittsburgh

Highly entertaining and unburdened by elaborate theorizing over the chiasmus, which might have spoiled the fun.

—Clarence Brown, Ph.D., professor emeritus of comparative literature at Princeton University

It's amazing how many of the world's most amusing and insightful quotations are in a mirror-image form. Dr. Grothe has made an intriguing discovery about how our minds work.

—Robert Byrne, compiler of The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said and four sequels

And, finally, what sampling of reviews would be complete without at least one that is itself an example of chiasmus? David J. Hartson, a psychologist and professor at the University of North Dakota's medical school says:

Your book is wonderfully complete and completely wonderful.

Very well said, Dr. Hartson, very well said indeed.

Table of Contents

I don't know about you, but I hate to buy a book without perusing the table of contents. If you're similarly inclined, this should help:

Introduction: "Pardon Me, Do You Know What Chiasmus Means?"
Chapter 1: Chiastic Wordplay
Chapter 2: Chiastic Maxims to Guide Your Life
Chapter 3: Chiastic Comparisons
Chapter 4: The Battle of the Sexes, Chiasmus Style
Chapter 5: Chiastic Compliments and Insults
Chapter 6: Chiasmus on Stage and Screen
Chapter 7: Political Chiasmus
Chapter 8: Chiasmus in the World of Sports
Chapter 9: Chiasmus in Advertising
Chapter 10: Chiasmus for CEOs
Chapter 11: Chiasmus for Book Lovers
Chapter 12: Chiasmus for Lovers
Chapter 13: Chiasmus in Marriage and Family Life
Chapter 14: Chiastic Insights from Great Philosophers
Chapter 15: Chiastic Repartee
Chapter 16: Implied Chiasmus