B-L      M-Z

Your Great Replies (B-L)

 Charley Bell

 John George (David Challener reply)

 Martha Davey

 Don Hauptman

 Annie Johnston

 Wayne Levine (Austin Levine reply)

 Milton Lewin

Charley Bell from Salt Lake City (two contributions):

On a recent flight, I was seated next to a Delta Captain who was deadheading home to Seattle. As we were powering down the runway and the wheels left the ground I leaned over and said, "I understand the principles of aerodynamics perfectly, yet I always marvel every time a plane leaves the ground." He replied:

When I was in high school, many years ago, I dated a young lady who was only 5'2" tall. Since I was 6'4" there was quite a discrepancy. As we were dancing one night, she continued to make comments about my height. Finally, I said, "I don't like your attitude!" Immediately she replied:

A Professor of Biology at San Jose State University for 30 years, Charles W. Bell is now retired and living in Salt Lake City, Utah with his sweetheart of 52 years. Long interested in linguistic oddities, he and his wife have also been singing performers since their high school days.

Martha Davey of New York City:

Many years ago, a citywide blackout caused the lights to go out in a class I was taking at City College of New York. The class continued and, an hour later, a student arrived, excusing his tardiness by saying he had walked all the way from Flushing. Without missing a beat, another student in the class offered this wonderful reply:

Martha Davey is a retired high school science teacher who lives in New York City. Heavily into international dancing, English historical dancing, and American contra and square dancing, she spends a lot of time at dance camps and festivals.

John George of New Mexico:

When I was in graduate school, I solved a fairly difficult mathematical problem in what seemed to me to be a clever way. As I showed it to my officemate, David Challener, I added with humorous overstatement, "Sheer genius!" He replied:

David and I each obtained our Ph.D. degrees at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. He is now at IBM doing work in privacy and security. I am at a university in New Mexico pursuing an academic career.

Don Hauptman of New York City (two contributions):

A client for whom I'm doing a writing project told me that we shouldn't appear to be jumping on a bandwagon. I riposted:

I was attending a party with a friend who was bored. She asked me, "Why are we here?" I replied:

Don Hauptman, a direct marketing copywriter and consultant in New York City, has had a lifelong passion for wordplay. The author of Cruel and Unusual Puns (1991) and Acronymania (1993), he writes an article for every issue of Word Ways, the quarterly journal of recreational linguistics.

Annie Johnston of Edinburgh, Scotland:

The other day, I was poring over some coursework when my husband popped his head in the study and said, "I'll make us some coffee later." I replied:

Annie Johnston is an IT professional who lives in Edinburgh, Scotland with her husband Lewis. They are fascinated by the clever use of language and love reading "offbeat" poetry (especially Charles Bukowski). They also enjoy microlight flights, beach and forest walks, exploring castles, and the movies.

Wayne Levine of Oak Park, California:

I was golfing with my 13-year-old son Austin recently. As he was teeing up, I said, "Austin, remember not to kill the ball." He's a wise guy, like his dad, and replied with smug affect:

Wayne Levine, wife Ria, children Emma and Austin, two cats, and two dogs live in Oak Park, California, where Wayne serves as director of the West Coast Men's Center. Much of Wayne and Ria's time is spent shuttling Austin to ice hockey events and tee times.

Milton Lewin of Irvington, New York:

While reading an article recently, my wife Wendy turned to me and said, "Americans spend over one billion dollars annually to find the perfect partner." My reply was:

Originally from Tucson, Milton Lewin now lives in Irvington, New York, chasing after his two young kids and listening to as much music as he can. He works in Manhattan, running a fund that invests in small companies.