Grand Oxymoronic Themes: drmardy.com

Neverisms: A Quotation Lover's
Guide to Things You Should
Never Do, Never Say,
or Never Forget

Ifferisms: An Anthology of
Aphorisms That Begin
with the Word "IF"

I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like:
A Comprehensive Compilation of History's Greatest Analogies, Metaphors, and Similes

Viva la Repartee:
Clever Comebacks & Witty Retorts from History's Great Wits & Wordsmiths

Oxymoronica:
Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom from History's Greatest Wordsmiths

Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You:
Chiasmus and a World of Chiastic Quotations

Grand Oxymoronic Themes is a term I've been using to refer to clusters of powerful oxymoronic and paradoxical ideas. These themes are among the truly Big Ideas of humankind. Indeed, they are so central to the human experience that they're as relevant today as they were when first advanced centuries, even millennia, ago.

A good example of a quotation that fits into a grand oxymoronic theme is:

"Be careful what you wish for,
it might come true."

Since the beginning of civilization, people have dreamed of fame or wealth or other good fortune. Sometimes, prayers appear to be answered and people get what they've long desired. There is, at least for a time, great happiness and cause for celebration. Then, in one of the great ironies of life, a dream-come-true turns into a nightmare. Marriages crumble, families fracture, and personal friendships end with great bitterness. Mother Teresa was obviously thinking along these lines when she once observed:

"More tears are shed over
answered prayers than unanswered ones."

In this provocative observation, Mother Teresa reminds us of an ancient paradoxical truth: getting what we want is often the worst thing that can happen to us. The basic idea has been advanced so frequently over the centuries that it deserves to be called a Grand Oxymoronic Theme. The earliest articulation of the idea (at least the earliest I've found) occurs in the 6th century B.C. In one of Aesop's most popular fables, The Old Man and Death, the fabulous fabulist writes:

"We would often be sorry
if our wishes were gratified."

Writing at around the same time, the Greek philosopher Heraclitus wrote:

"It would not be better for mankind
if they were given their desires."

Over the past few decades, I've discovered scores of observations that make the same basic point (you'll see some of them in a moment). At some point, perhaps in a future book, I hope to explore and examine Grand Oxymoronic Themes in more detail. For the purposes of this web site, though, my goal is more modest; it is to simply introduce you to the concept of grand oxymoronic themes and provide you with a dozen or so quotes that illustrate each one.

From Oxymoronica: Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom, by Dr. Mardy Grothe (HarperCollins, 2004)

Be careful what you set your heart upon— for it will surely be yours.	I write of the wish that comes true— for some reason, a terrifying concept.
*James Baldwin*	*James M. Cain*
Ambition is a Dead Sea fruit and the greatest peril to the soul is that one is likely to get precisely what he is seeking.
*Edward Dahlberg*
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
*The Dalai Lama*
The only suitable gift for the man who has everything is your deepest sympathy.	Beware, my Lord! Beware lest stern Heaven hate you enough to hear your prayers!
*Imogene Fey*	*Anatole France*
If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles.
*Benjamin Franklin*
Protect me from what I want.	For what I have received may the Lord make me truly thankful. And more truly for what I have not received.
*Jenny Holzer*	*Storm Jameson*
When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.	There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.
*Oscar Wilde*	*George Bernard Shaw*
More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones.
*Mother Teresa*
Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.	In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants and the other is getting it.
*Irving Kristol*	*Oscar Wilde*
How many of our daydreams would darken into nightmares, were there any danger of their coming true.
*Logan Pearsall Smith*

Compiled by Dr. Mardy Grothe, 2004

Sometimes there is greater lack of communication in facile talking than in silence.	Silence. One of the hardest arguments to refute.
*Faith Baldwin*	*Josh Billings*
Silence is more eloquent than words.	Silence is the unbearable repartee.
*Thomas Carlyle*	*G. K. Chesterton*
*Their very silence* is a loud cry.**
*Cicero*
Nothing speaks our grief so well, As to speak nothing.	Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Richard Crashaw, in 1646	*The Dalai Lama*
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.	The silence that accepts merit as the most natural thing in the world is the highest applause.
*Peter F. Drucker*	*Ralph Waldo Emerson*
Who then tells a finer tale than any of us? Silence does.
*Isak Dinesen*
The silence of the envious is too noisy.	Well-timed silence is the most commanding expression.
*Khalil Gibran*	*Mark Helprin*
Sometimes you have to be silent to be heard.	Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.
*Stanislaw Lec*	*Hannah More*
*There is no grief* like the grief which does not speak.**
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, in 1839
No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.	The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes— ah, that is where the art resides.
*Sam Rayburn*	*Artur Schnabel*
*The most precious things in speech* are the pauses.**
*Ralph Richardson*
*Well-timed silence* hath more eloquence than speech.**
*Martin Farquhar Tupper*