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Absolute possibility
Abundant poverty
"Socrates says he lives in abundant poverty?" John E. Becker
Academic fraternity
Academic sorority
Accident plan
AC/DC Unplugged
Accidentally on purpose
Accidentally on Purpose: Reflections on Life, Acting, and the Nine Natural Laws
of Creativity, title of 1998 book by John Strasberg
Accordion music
Accurate estimate
Accurate rumors
Accurate stereotype
Achievable fantasy
"What we're doing is creating an achievable fantasy?" Nadler LeWinter,
editor of "Mode" magazine
Acoustic guitar amplifier
Act naturally
Action plan
Active retirement
Acute apathy
Acute dullness
Additional reduction
Adult children
Advanced BASIC
Advanced beginner
Advanced ignorance
Affordable housing
Aggressive begging
Aggressive diplomacy
Aging yuppie
Agree to disagree
Air field
Airline food
Airline schedule
Airport security
A little big
A little pregnant
All-day briefing
Almost always
Almost certain
Almost completed
Almost finished
Almost exactly
Almost impossible
Almost never
Almost new
Almost perfect
Almost pregnant
Almost totally
Alone together
Alone Together, title of 1986 book by Elena Bonner
Altogether separate
Aluminum window
Amateur expert
American civilization
American culture
American Honda
Amicable divorce
Among the first
Amtrak schedule
Anarchist community
"We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community,
but people wouldn't obey the rules?" Alan Bennett
Anarchy rules!
Angel, the vampire
Angry patient
Anonymous colleague
Anticipating the unanticipated
Anxious patient
AOL Help
Apathetic interest
Apple Tech Support
Approximate solution
Approximately equal
Armchair athlete
Army intelligence
Arrogant humility
Articulate ignorance
"(Eric) Hoffer, our resident Peasant Philosopher,
is an example of articulate ignorance?" John Seelye
Artificial grass
Artificial intelligence
Artificial reality
Artificial Reality, title of 1983 book by Myron Krueger
Artificial turf
Assistant supervisor
Assisted suicide
Astronomically small
Athletic scholarship
Attentive husband
Aunt Jemima Light
Authentic reproduction
Auto pilot
Awfully good
Awfully nice
Awfully pretty
Baby doctor
Backseat driver
Backside
Bad health
Bad luck
Bad sex
"To me, bad pizza is an oxymoron, like bad sex?" Richard Acello
Baggage handling
Baked Alaska
Balding hair
Ballpoint
Bankrupt millionaire
Barely dressed
Battle dress
Bedroom community
Beginning Finnish (title of textbook)
Benevolent despot
Benevolent dictator
Benign neglect
Benign neglect, n. A policy or attitude of ignoring a situation
instead of assuming responsibility for managing or improving it.
The American Heritage Dictionary, 4th edition (2000)
Be spontaneous
Better strangers
"I do desire we may be better strangers."
William Shakespeare, in As You Like It
Better than new
Beyond infinity
Big nothing
Big sip
Bipartisan cooperation
Birthday suit
Bittersweet
Black gold
Black light
Blind eye
Blue Rose
Bone china
Bomb shelter
Boneless ribs
Border control
Border security
Border Security: An Oxymoron, title of 2002 article by Oliver North
Bottoms up
Brain fart
Brand-new antiques
Brave politician
Bridegroom
Brief survey
Brief wait
Brilliant failure
"We Irish are too poetical to be poets; we are a
nation of brilliant failures, but we are the
greatest talkers since the Greeks?" Oscar Wilde
Brilliantly dull
Bright night
Bright shade
British cuisine
Buffalo wings
Bug-free code
Build-down
Business casual
Business ethics
Butt heads
Butthead
Cafeteria food
Calculated guess
Calculated risk
Calculated spontaneity
"Winning children (who appear so guileless) are children who
have discovered how effective charm and modesty and a delicately
calculated spontaneity are in getting what they want?" Thornton Wilder
California Champagne
California culture
California expressway
Calm winds
Calm storm
Canadian culture
Camping resort
Cardinal sin
Careful disorderliness
"There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness
is the true method?" Herman Melville, in Moby-Dick (1851)
Casual chic
"A spotted tie is just the thing when you're wearing stripes!
Tigers have a natural flair for casual chic?" Calvin & Hobbes, March 24, 1995
Casual elegance
Casual intimacy
Casual sex
Casually concerned
Catfish
Catproof
Cautiously optimistic
Central Intelligence Agency
Centrally-planned economy
Certainly unsure
Chaotic organization
Chaste whore
"Good taste and humor are a contradiction in terms,
like a chaste whore?" Malcolm Muggeridge
"An oxymoron is a figure of speech that stands for
a self-contradictory expression like a chaste whore
or an honest politician?" Evan Esar
Cheap gas
Cheerful cynic
Cheerful pessimist
Cheerleading scholarship
Cherry tomato
Chills and fever
Childproof
Christian militia
Christian Science
Christian soldier
Citizen soldier
City worker
Civil disorder
Civil Engineer
Civil litigation
Civil servant
"Socialism would gather all power to the supreme party and party leaders,
rising like stately pinnacles above their vast bureaucracies of civil servants,
no longer servants, no longer civil?" Winston Churchill
Civil service
Civil strife
Civil war
"How is it possible to have a civil war?" George Carlin
Civil wilderness
"The civil wilderness of sleep?" Robert Herrick
Civilized divorce
Civilized warfare
Classic rock & roll
Classical jazz
Clean coal
Clean dirt
Clean kill
Clean oil
Clean toilet
Clear as mud
Clearly ambiguous
Clearly confused
Clearly confusing
Clearly misunderstood
Clearly obfuscating
Clearly obscure
Clever fool
"Show me a man or woman who cannot stand mysteries and I will
show you a fool. A clever fool—perhaps—but a fool just the same?"
Raymond Chandler
Climb down
Close distance
Closet exhibitionist
Coal mine safety
Coca Cola Foods
Coed fraternity
Coed sorority
Cold as hell
Cold comfort
Cold fire
"Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health."
William Shakespeare, in Romeo and Juliet
Cold hotdog
Cold sweat
Cold toast
Cold war
"Let us not be deceived—we are today
in the midst of a cold war?" Bernard Baruch
Combative apology
Comfortable heels
Commercial art
Committee action
Committee decision
Common courtesy
Common sense
"Common sense is not so common?" Voltaire
Communist party
Comparatively unique
Compassionate conservative
Competitive disadvantage
Complete selection
Completed research
Completely unfinished
Compulsory volunteer
Computer jock
Computer security
Concise dictionary
Concrete pad
Confidently scared
"Tom Landry approached a Super Bowl saying that
his team was confidently scared?" Richard Lederer
Confirmed rumor
Congressional action
Congressional cooperation
Congressional ethics
Congressional oversight
Conservative Democrat
Conservative liberal
Conservative revolution
Conscientious stupidity
"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than
sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity?" Martin Luther King, Jr.
Considerate boss
Consistently inconsistent
Conspicuous absence
Conspicuously absent
Constant change
Constant variable
Constructive criticism
Contemporary classic
Contemporary history
Controlled chaos
Controlled enthusiasm
Controlled rage
Conventional wisdom
Corporate conscience
Corporate culture
Corporate family
Corporate planning
Correctional institution
Corrupt official
Cost savings
Country club prison
Country music
Cowardly lion
Crash landing
Cream soda
Creation science
Creative destruction
"The passion for destruction is also a creative passion?" Mikhail Bakunin
Criminal justice
Criminal justice system
Criminal law
Crisis management
Critical praise
Cruel kindness
"I must be cruel only to be kind?" William Shakespeare, in Hamlet
Cultured animal
Current history
Curved line
Customer satisfaction
Customer service
Daily special
Damn with faint praise
Damned good
Dark star
Darkness visible
"No light, but rather darkness visible?" John Milton, in Paradise Lost
Dead Man Walking
Deafening silence
Dear occupant
Dearest enemy
"My near'st and dearest enemy?" Shakespeare, in King Henry IV
Death benefits
Debugged program
Decaffeinated espresso
Decent lawyer
Deeper high
Deeply superficial
"I am a deeply superficial person?" Andy Warhol
Defensive attack
Defensive strike
Definite maybe
Definite perhaps
"I can give you a definite perhaps?" Samuel Goldwyn
Definite possibility
Definite probability
Degradable plastic
Deliberate mistake
Deliberate speed
Deliberately thoughtless
Delicate assault
"The delicate assault on the proud stuff of a man's identity (referring
to anti Semitism)?" Laura Z. Hobson, in Gentleman's Agreement (1947)
Delicious torment
"Thou art to me a delicious torment?" Ralph Waldo Emerson
Delightful marriage
Demanding patient
Department of the Interior
Designer beer
Designer jeans
Designer water
Detailed summary
Devilishly good
Devout atheist
"I'm a devout atheist?" Paula Poundstone
Dickhead
Diet ice cream
Dignified slavery
"I can with truth say mine is a situation of dignified slavery."
Andrew Jackson, on the presidency
Dim light
Diminished confidence
Disaster relief
Disco music
Discovered missing
Disgustingly good
Disposable income
Distant relative
Distinctive uniform
Divorce court
Doctor of Nursing
Doctoral ignorance
"There is an ABC ignorance that precedes knowledge
and a doctoral ignorance that comes after it?" Michel de Montaigne
Dodge Ram
Domestic bliss
Domestic disturbance
Domestic tranquility
Domestic violence
Dotted line
Double solitaire
Down elevator
Down escalator
Drag race
Drastic improvement
Dress pants
Dress shirt
Dress shoes
Drip dry
Drive-thru window
Drug culture
Dry beer
Dry creek
Dry ice
Dry lake
Dry martini
Dry river
Dry wine
Dull roar
Dull shine
Duplicate original
Easy labor
Easy task
Earth angel
Earth Angel, title of 1954 song by The Penguins
Easy labor
Economic forecast
Economic reform
Economic stability
Economy car
Educated guess
Educational television
Electroshock therapy
Elementary Calculus
Elevated subway
Eloquent silence
"The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss?" Anonymous
"The Pause; that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically
progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no
combination of words, however so felicitous, could accomplish it?" Mark Twain
Empty fullness
"Revenge leads to an empty fullness, like eating dirt?" Mignon McLaughlin
English syntax
Enormously small
Entertaining sermon
Enquiring minds
Entire portion
Environmentalist bumper sticker
E pluribus unum
E pluribus unum ("Out of many, one"), motto of the USA, appearing on the
Great Seal of the United States of America
Equal justice for all
Equal opportunity
Ergonomic keyboard
Escaped inmate
Eschew Obfuscation
Eschew obfuscation. A "fumblerule," by William Safire
Essential frill
Essential luxury
Eternal life
Ethnic cleansing
European Community
Evaporated milk
Even odds
Evolutionary fact
Exact estimate
Exact opposite
Executive assistant
Executive decision
Executive secretary
Expect the unexpected
Expected surprise
"When I came home I expected a surprise and there was no surprise for me,
so, of course, I was surprised?" Ludwig Wittgenstein
Express bus
Express line
Express mail
Expressive silence
"Come then, expressive silence, muse His praise."
James Thomson, In "Hymn," (1730)
Exquisite nonsense
"Human beings cling to their delicious tyrannies and to their exquisite nonsense,
till death stares them in the face?" Sydney Smith
Exquisite pain
Extended deadline
Extensive briefing
Extra ordinary
Extremely average
Extremely bland
Extremely normal
Eyes Wide Shut
Eyes Wide Shut, title of 1999 Stanley Kubrick film
Faculty cooperation
Fail safe
Fair lending practices
Fairly accurate
Fairly explicit
Fairly obvious
Faithful husband
Falling sideways
"Life is falling sideways?" Jean Cocteau
Falling Sideways. Tom Holt, title of 2002 comic fantasy book
Fallout shelter
False fact
False hope
False reality
Falsely true
"His honor rooted in dishonor stood,
And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true."
Alfred, Lord Tennyson, in "Lancelot and Elaine."
Family vacation
Farewell reception
Fan fatale
Fan light
Fast food
Fast idle
Fast walk
Fatally injured
Fatboy Slim
Fat-free cream cheese
Fearful bravery
"They could be content
To visit other places; and come down
With fearful bravery, thinking by this face
To fasten in our thoughts that they have courage;
But 'tis not so.
William Shakespeare, in Julius Cæsar, Act V, Scene I
Featherweight
Federal budget
Feeling numb
Fellow sisters
Fellow women
Feminine logic
Fiberglass
Fighting for Peace
Final draft
Final version
Fine mess
"That's a fine mess you've gotten us in, Ollie?" Stan Laurel
A Fine Mess, title of 1986 Blake Edwards' movie, starring Ted Danson
Fire house
Firewall
Firewater
Firm estimate
Firm maybe
Firm pillow
First annual
First deadline
First-strike defense
Fish farm
Flat-breasted
Flexible freeze
Flood control
Floppy disk
Following preview
Foolproof
Foolishly wise
Football scholarship
Foreign national
Forward lateral
Found missing
Free gift
Free love
"Free love is too expensive?" Bernadette Devlin
Free verse
"Free verse is like free love; it is a contradiction in terms?" G. K. Chesterton
Free with purchase
Freezer burn
Freezer Burn: Oxymorons and Other Contradictions of Everyday Life,
title of 1991 book by Laine Vilensky, David Holmes, & Jeff MacNelly
French Resistance
Fresh air
Fresh cheese
Fresh dried fruit
Fresh from concentrate
Fresh frozen
Fresh-frozen jumbo shrimp
Fresh prunes
Fresh raisins
Fresh yogurt
Fried ice cream
Fried roast
Friendly argument
Friendly competition
Friendly divorce
Friendly enemy
Friendly fire
Friendly lawsuit
Friendly takeover
Frienemy
Frienemy (FREN-uh-mee) n. A friend who acts like an enemy; a fair-weather or
untrustworthy friend. From The Word Spy (www.wordspy.com).
A blend of "friend" and "enemy" coined by singer/songwriter Gregg Alexander
of New Radicals
Front end
Frugal gourmet
Full-service bank
Full-time hobby
Full vacuum
Fun run
Future history
Fuzzy logic
Fuzzy logic, n. A branch of logic designed to allow degrees of
imprecision in reasoning and knowledge, typified by terms such as 'very',
'quite possibly', and 'unlikely', to be represented in such a way that the
information can be processed by computer. WordReference.com
Gargantuan Lilliputian
Geek chic
Gentle contempt
"Without a gentle contempt for education, no gentleman's
education is complete?" G. K. Chesterton
Gentle Madness
A Gentle Madness, title of 1995 book by Nicholas A. Basbanes
Gentleman bandit
Genuine fake
Genuine imitation
Genuinely bogus
"She's genuinely bogus?" Christopher Hassall, on Dame Edith Sitwell
Gilded slavery
"Stardom can be a gilded slavery?" Helen Hayes
Girly-Man
Glacier-like rapidity
Global village
Go ahead, back up
God-awful
Going nowhere
Going nowhere fast
Golf fashion
Goliath beetle
Good beating
Good garbage
Good grief
Good junk
Good morning
Good job
Good loser
Good shit
Go sit!
Gourmet cat food
Gourmet fast food
Gourmet hamburger
Gourmet pizza
Gourmet sandwich
Government aid
Government assistance
Government efficiency
Government organization
Government service
Government worker
Graduate student
Grand children
Grand theft
Grape Nuts
Graphic language
Graphite irons
Grass roots
Great Commoner
"The Great Commoner," nickname of William Jennings Bryan
Great Depression
Great weakness
Greater evil
Greater (name your town)
Green blackberries
Green blueberries
Green manufacturing
Green orange
Grotesque beauty
Grounded airplane
Group of individuals
Growing small
Growing smaller
Guaranteed forecast
Guest host
Gunboat diplomacy
Gunboat diplomacy, n. Diplomacy involving intimidation by threat
or use of military force. American Heritage Dictionary.
Gypsy king
Half dead
Half dressed
Half empty
Half full
Half naked
Half true
Halfway done
Handgun safety
Happily apathetic
Happily ever after
Happily married
Happy agony
"Acting is happy agony?" Sir Alec Guinness
Happy Monday
Hard curve
Hard cushion
A Hard Day's Night
A Hard Day's Night, title of 1964 Beatles song
Hard liquor
Hard pillow
Hard roll
Hard water
Harmless abuse
Harmless crime
Harmless lie
Harmless pollution
Harmless sin
Harmonious discord
Hasten slowly
Hasten slowly. Latin Proverb (in Latin festina lente)
Hazardous waste disposal
Head-butt
Health-care system
Healthy chocolate
Healthy fat
Healthy obsession
Healthy tan
Heavy gas
Heavy lightness
"O heavy lightness! Serious vanity!"
William Shakespeare, in Romeo and Juliet
Hell's Angels
High ground
Hollow point
Holy hell
Holy Roman Empire
"This agglomeration which was called and which still calls itself
the Holy Roman Empire is neither holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire?" Voltaire
Holy crap
Holy shit
Holy war
Home office
Homeland security
Home school
Homework
Honest burglar
"A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar?" H. L. Mencken
Honest crook
Honest graft
Honest liar
Honest salesperson
Honest Politician
"An honest politician is one who when he's bought stays bought?"
Simon Cameron
Honest thief
Hopeful pessimist
Hopelessly optimistic
Horribly decent
Horse fly
Hospital food
Hot chili (think "chilly")
Hot ice
House boat
House ethics committee
Huge market niche
Huge shortage
Huge shortfall
Human robot
Humane death
Humanitarian invasion
Humble opinion
Humble pedantry
Hurts so Good
Hurts So Good, title of 1982 song, on John Cougar Mellancamp's
"American Fool" Album
Hybrid car
Ice cream cake
Ice water
Icy hot
Icy Hot Patch
Idiot savant (literally, "learned idiot")
Idiot savant, n. A mentally retarded person who exhibits genius in a highly
specialized area, such as mathematics or music (French: idiot, idiot + savant,
learned). American Heritage Dictionary, Third edition.
Idle labor
Ill fortune
Ill health
Important trivia
Immigration control
Impatient patient
Important trivia
Impressive ignorance
Inarticulate speaker
Income tax
Incomplete cure
Increasing declines
Increasing losses
Increasingly little
Incredibly believable
Incredibly common
Incredibly credible
"We have two incredibly credible witnesses here?" Sen. Joseph Biden,
referring to Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill
Incredibly dull
Incredibly honest
Incredibly real
Industrial park
Inexpensive girl friend
Inexpensive luxury
Inexpensive medical care
Initial conclusion
Initial results
Inmate trustee
Innocent criminal
In-School suspension
Inside out
Insincere appreciation
Insincere vow
Instant classic
Instant folk hero
Instant oil change
Intelligent fight
Intense apathy
Intensely cool
Intensely uninterested
Internal exile
Internal Revenue Service
Internet privacy
Intimate Strangers
Intimate Strangers: The Culture of Celebrity in America, Richard Schickel,
title of 2000 book
Invisible ink
Invisible solid
Irate patient
Iron curtain
"Held behind an iron curtain?" H. G. Wells, in The Food of the Gods (1904)
"An iron curtain has descended across the Continent?"
Winston Churchill, in 1945 speech
Iron hand
Iron lung
Iron maiden
Iron stone
Iron weed
Ironwood
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Biography
