Oxymora: The List

Almost every literate person these days knows what an oxymoron is. The most famous example in popular culture would probably be jumbo shrimp. Since shrimp are such small creatures, it seems absurd to use the word jumbo to describe them. Elephants, yes. And large jet planes as well. But jumbo shrimp? The two words just don't seem to go together. When two incompatible words are yoked together in one expression, it's called an oxymoron. Other popular examples include old news, pretty ugly, and serious fun.

When you have more than one oxymoron, what do you call them? The typical answer, of course, is oxymorons. But, technically, that would be wrong. The correct plural form of the word is oxymora. Over the years, however, so many people have been saying oxymorons that—even though technically incorrect—the term is so widespread that it's now considered an acceptable usage by most language scholars. If you want to be precise, oxymora is the word to use.

But linguistic precision can come at a cost. Indeed, the whole matter presents a bit of a dilemma. If you say oxymorons, average people will know exactly what you mean, but language purists will accuse you of a minor linguistic solecism (the technical word for a language mistake, from a Greek word meaning "to speak incorrectly"). And if you say oxymora, purists will nod approvingly, but average people may think you're a pretentious show-off. It's a judgment call. I use both, depending on the situation.

Below you will find a comprehensive listing of oxymora. As you peruse the list, you may find what you regard as questionable—or even spurious—examples. But remember, an oxymoron, like beauty and a lot of other things, is in the eye (or ear) of the beholder. For example, there's nothing inherently contradictory about the words "airline" and "food." But a number of years ago (back when food was actually served in friendly skies) the culinary offerings of the airlines were so bad that almost everyone nodded in agreement when they heard someone offered the opinion that airline food was a contradiction in terms.

Objective vs. Subjective Oxymora

An expression like pretty ugly might be called an "objective oxymoron" because it contains an intrinsic contradiction. The individual words pretty and ugly are clear opposites. When paired together, though, the "marriage of opposites" results in a new expression that makes perfect sense. This is the central fact that makes an oxymoron so fascinating.

An expression like airline food, on the other hand, is a "subjective oxymoron" because there is no inherent contradiction between the two words. But when people put the words together, they're expressing a value judgment or opinion about the quality of meals served on airplanes. Whenever people use a subjective oxymoron they are essentially saying that the two words being juxtaposed are "a contradiction in terms." The world of technology has inspired many fascinating examples, like Apple Tech Support, Microsoft Works, and AOL Help. Other popular examples include government service, committee action, American culture, British cuisine, and, of course, the classic military intelligence. The celebrated verbivore Richard Lederer aptly coined the term "opinion oxymorons" for such expressions.

Many reference sources give subjective oxymorons a veil of respectability. The Oxford Companion to the English Language says in its oxymoron entry:

The term is often used for social comment, both humorously or cynically (such as calling military intelligence a contradiction in terms) and dramatically, as in "It has become an oxymoron to speak of the Lebanese nation."

The New Princeton Encyclopedia of Poetry and Poetics offers this assessment:

Oxymoron is by no means reserved … for religious experience or even love's contradictions; the modern world abounds in them even for quotidian existence—e.g., "amicable divorce," "free pet," "painless dentistry," "airline food," "life insurance," "friendly fire," "boneless ribs," "married life," "sight unseen," "nonworking mother."

The list contains hundreds of subjective oxymora. Many women, for example, believe that male sensitivity is an oxymoron, just as many men would say that feminine logic deserves inclusion. Other wags, with some justification, have suggested wedded bliss and delightful marriage as candidates. And even though there is such a thing as an amicable divorce and an attentive husband, many people would argue that they're so rare that it would be a major mistake to exclude them from a comprehensive list. Many frustrated consumers have concluded that customer service is a clear contradiction in terms. And, depending on your musical tastes, you may or may not agree that accordion music, country music, and rap music deserve inclusion. I've included them all.

The list on the below pages is comprised mainly of two-word expressions, but occasionally I'll present one-word examples, like bittersweet, butthead, warlord, the musical expression pianoforte (which literally means "soft-loud"), and sophomore (which literally means "wise fool"). I'll also present a few three-word examples (less is more, accidentally on purpose, agree to disagree, and addition by subtraction) that have crept into our cultural vocabulary. Occasionally, to vary the pattern a bit, I'll present a quotation that uses or illustrates a particular oxymoron.

The list is presented in alphabetical order, but you still may have to search for some expressions (e.g., "A fine mess" is included in the "F" section, not the "A" section). If you have a favorite oxymoron that is not listed, please send it along.

 A-I
 J-R
 S-Z