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Bill Porter (1st)
"Dr. Grothe is from North Dakota?
Much is explained. Not that people are
few and far between in that state, but when he was young,
instead of playmates to exchange words with,
he had words to exchange play with."
Jose Castro (2nd)
In my younger days when going
to Discos and night clubs,
a phrase we would often use was:
"She was a '2' at '10'
and a '10' at '2.'"
Steve Clark (3rd)
"Sometimes the difficulty in choosing teams
isn't having an odd number of people.
Sometimes it's having a number of odd people."
Jeremy Sickel (1st)
"Sometimes thinking can be a limit to our abilities,
but there is no limit to the ability of our thinking."
Justin Smith (2nd)
"Most people want to be needed,
but everyone needs to be wanted."
George W. Bowman (3rd)
"The pencil is a curious instrument:
The blunt end can make a fine point, while
the pointed end can be very blunt."
George W. Bowman (1st)
"Arguments can't change reality quite like
reality can change arguments."
Don Hauptman (2nd)
"A little danger is a learningous thing."
(reversing "A little learning is a dangerous thing")
Glenn Nall (3rd)
"It's easier to remember an ugly face
than it is to face an ugly memory."
Rick Quarton (1st)
"Regarding the presidential election:
Is Justice being upheld
or is Justice being held up?"
Dale E. Visgar (2nd)
"To be a great Leader to those you Serve,
You must be a great Servant to those you Lead."
Greg Tamblyn (3rd)
"Inquiring minds want to know, and
Acquiring minds know to want."
Jason Steingisser (1st)
"If you neglect to remember,
you won't remember your neglect."
Bode Gaebler (2nd)
"It's better to finish driving before you drink
than to finish drinking before you drive."
Amy Brennan (3rd)
"If one fails to be magnificent,
at least one should be a magnificent failure."
Alvin Haruthunian (1st)
"Our limitations deceive us,
as our deceptions limit us."
Scott Fullmer (2nd)
"While the official motto of
Brigham Young University is,
'The World is our Campus,'
some act as if the reverse is true."
Sheri Wright (3rd)
"Everyone faces failure in life,
but few can face life after failure."
Mark Roth (1st)
"A friend in need
is a friend indeed,
but a friend in deed
is a friend you need."
Jacqui Buchmiller (2nd)
"It is better to leave
while everyone wishes you'd stay,
than to stay until they wish you'd leave!"
(on timing one's retirement)
Amy Brennan (3rd)
"Purkinje Passion:
I stare, unblinking
Hoping that in time
I will see what I want
or that
You will want what you see."
Neal M. Cohen (1st)
"Limiting your challenges
is a great way to achieve certainty,
but challenging your limits
is a certain way to achieve greatness."
Kevin Murray (2nd)
"Stop Trouble Shooting and
Start Shooting Trouble."
Paul Ferris (3rd)
"The decorating of front yards
with political candidates' names
is a modern practice:
a time of the signs."
Scott Fullmer (1st)
"The eternal pessimist is always looking
for the tunnel at the end of the light."
Anu Garg (2nd)
"The presidential race is heating up.
Later this year we'll know
whether Bush gets gored or
Gore gets bushed."
Asad Jaleel (3rd)
"All is in balance.
One looks over, another overlooks.
One sets it up, another upsets it.
One unites, another unties.
Balance is in all."
J.D. Opdyke & Geri Costanza (1st)
Chiastic Tranquility:
"Tai Chi
or
Chai tea?"
Kurt Bevan (2nd)
Workplace Words of Wisdom:
"Don't bother complaining,
those who listen can't help, and
those who can help don't listen."
Bob Hartley (3rd)
On the Change from
Daily to Weekly Chiastic Quotes:
"What once came every day,
and made Mardy weak
will now come every week,
and will make everyone's day."
David Beben (1st)
"'Tis better to have lost a lover,
than to have loved a loser."
Renee Cusick (2nd)
"In romantic literature, a man
thinks he will fail due to his faults,
then succeeds because he is perfect.
In tragic literature, a man
thinks he will succeed because he is perfect,
then fails due to his faults."
Don Hauptman (3rd)
"Suggested slogan for
Carnival Cruise Line Vacations:
'When you have a grind to ax.'"
Andy Hartzell (1st)
You know how doctors take the Hippocratic oath:
"First of all, to do no harm."
But have you heard of the Hairdresser's oath?
"First of all, to harm no 'do'."
Max Dawson (2nd)
"An optimist may look at the world
through rose-tinted glasses;
but a pessimist often looks at the rose
through world-tinted glasses."
Chris Smyth (3rd)
"In a perfect polity,
the individual works for the good of society,
and society for the good of the individual."
Dick Benedict (1st)
"Not all questions are answerable,
but all answers are questionable."
Philip Noble (2nd)
Man: "If you really loved me
you'd do what I like."
Woman: "If you really loved me
you'd like what I do."
Frank Glenn (3rd)
"For the poor the importance
of one's food for thought
is overshadowed by the importance
of one's thought for food."
Chris Smyth (1st)
"A sudden fall into poverty is a
notorious breeding ground for crime:
'It's hard to keep a downed man good.'"
Mark Wadsworth (2nd)
"As I feasted at our
company end-of-year dinner,
I reflected on my underpowered computer,
noting that for dinner
I was having rack of lamb,
but at work I had a lack of RAM."
Leslie Schmeisser (3rd)
"When fathers ignore sons,
ignorant sons father."
Alan Williams (1st)
"As the cheetah said to the chameleon:
you can hide, but you can't run!"
Roberta Proctor (2nd)
"While he sees his refusal to show weakness
as his greatest strength,
his refusal to show anything but strength
is actually his greatest weakness."
Dina Edrich (3rd)
"You may be done with the past,
But the past might not be done with you."
Edward Merrill (1st)
"If nature had named it,
it would be called a 'flutterby'
and not a 'butterfly.'"
Zandra Faulks (2nd)
"Motto for casual-dress workdays:
'Workers of the World, Untie!'"
Tom Oliver (3rd)
"As the fan of Wall Street Week,
Moneyline, and The Street said:
'There's no show like a business show.'"
(an example of implied chiasmus,
reversing the saying, "There's no
business like show business.")
Ian Barrett (1st)
"The proof of good liquor is in the taste
the taste of good liquor is in the proof."
Shan Jones (2nd)
"Some politicians like move their lips,
and apparently,
some lips like to move politicians."
Dennis R. Ridley (3rd)
"We have civil engineers;
too bad we can't engineer civility."
Fred Weiss (1st)
"We Americans
deify our politicians
and politicize our deities."
Jim Blockinger (3rd)
"It's better to introduce yourself
to someone with whom you'd like to wake up
than to wake up with someone
to whom you have to introduce yourself."
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Biography
