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January 2000
When I hear it said that people are stuck in the past, I think,
"Isn't it more accurate to say the past is stuck in them?"
Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
Isn't it equally true that "The unlived life is not worth examining."
What most people want more
than a wealth of experience
is an experience of wealth.
The value of education
lies less in answering questions
than it does in questioning answers.
Human beings can be divided into two types:
cosmopolitan people who believe nothing human is foreign,
and xenophobes who believe nothing foreign is human.
Even though living well is the best revenge,
revenge is never the best way to live well.
Better late than never is a good general rule.
But some things are clearly better never than late.
Too often, people fail to make a distinction
between things of importance
and the importance of things.
The politics of hatred can ultimately lead
to only one result, the hatred of politics.
Where nothing is sacred, sacred is nothing.
When you're preoccupied with love, you have no time for business;
when you're preoccupied with business, you have no time for love.
For every person who's gone but not forgotten,
it seems like there's another who's forgotten but not gone.
The secret of life consists of
accepting the things you can't change and
changing the things you can't accept.
A guy who aspires to become a man of the world
should also strive to become a world of a man.
We will only be able to take the heart out of hatred
when we can take the hatred from out of our hearts.
When the right can do no wrong,
The wrong can do no right.
Wheaties has long been known as The Breakfast of Champions.
Why haven't they also hailed it as The Champion of Breakfasts?
George Santayana once said,
"The great difficulty in education is to get experience out of idea."
We could reverse that and say,
"The great difficulty in living is to get ideas out of experience."
All private people have something they wish would become public,
and all public people have something they wish would remain private.
The challenge in selecting people (whether in business or in love)
is differentiating those who are more qualified than they seem
from those who seem more qualified than they are.
Instead of putting their money where their mouth is,
some people just put their mouth where the money is.
We've long believed that insight leads to great change.
It's also true that change often leads to great insight.
In addition to going absent without leave (AWOL) ,
it's also possible for some soldiers to leave without being absent.
Some people are so self-reliant,
they're not interested in what others think;
and some people are so interested in what others think,
they'll never be self-reliant.
In a reversal of the age-old phenomenon of
bad people pretending to be good,
we now see among many middle-class adolescents
a curious and sometimes comical phenomenon,
good people pretending to be bad.
If you want to continue to have love in your life,
don't forget to put some life in your love.
People used to get married and a few years later start a family.
Nowadays, they're doing it the other way around.
Misanthropes and curmudgeons
differ in one very important way:
misanthropes love to hate,
curmudgeons hate to love.
One way of looking at adolescents is to see them as
creatures who love the things adults hate,
and hate the things adults love.
People can be roughly divided into two groups:
one is guided by what's reasonable, even if it's not pleasurable,
the other by what's pleasurable, even it it's not reasonable."
In the mating game, people frequently complain
about having to choose between someone who has
looks without the personality
or personality without the looks.
February 2000
Neatniks have a place for everything;
slobs a thing for every place.
It is helpful to remember that
all truth contains an element of error,
and all error an element of truth.
The two most powerful forces
in the history of the world have been
the love of power and the power of love.
The wisest course of action is generally one in which
the head is influenced by the heart,
and the heart by the head.
We've long known that politics makes strange bedfellows.
It's now also clear that bedfellows make for very strange politics.
One of the biggest problems facing moderate politicians
is liberals thinking they're too conservative
and conservatives thinking they're too liberal.
Why is it that the people who have the power generally lack the wisdom,
and the people who have the wisdom generally lack the power?
What is natural is not always good,
and what is good is not always natural.
Experience may be one of the best teachers,
and a great teacher is one of the best experiences.
When birds of a feather flock together,
we call it a gang or a clique.
But when feathers of a bird flock together,
we call it good insulation.
Money may not be the root of all evil,
but evil is definitely at the root of lots of money.
From a man's point of view,
some women are simply irresistible,
and others are irresistibly simple.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.
Remember that love of words
can be very useful
when composing words of love.
Today is Valentine's Day.
For love in your life
put life in your love.
The goal of all great stage entertainers
is to make the audience a part of the show
and the show a part of the audience.
Too many suitors believe that
the objects of their affection have
too much affection for objects.
It's often hard to get to
the heart of the matter
in matters of the heart.
While it's always stupid to feign wisdom,
it's sometimes wise to pretend stupidity.
While it's often said that one's previous friendships
can destroy a marriage,
it's also true that a marriage
can destroy one's previous friendships.
It is helpful to remember that
the most serious person has a playful side,
and the most playful person a serious side.
I heard a good one recently from someone who'd read
"The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating."
She said someone should write another book called
"The Guide to Dating Complete Idiots."
All great artists have learned the secret of
infusing their art into their lives,
and their lives into their art.
There are highly intelligent people who are not very wise;
and extremely wise people who are not very intelligent.
Many people with finery are not at all refined,
and many refined people have no need of finery.
People who don't find happiness generally seek it;
but people who seek happiness generally don't find it.
Poorly-timed advances lead to retreats;
well-timed retreats lead to advances.
During bad times we remember good times,
during good times we forget bad times.
The search for meaning is only successful
when we find meaning in the search.
Waterfowl everywhere hate
foul water anywhere.
March 2000
When I observe many young people these days
I sometimes wonder which they prefer most:
the pursuit of happiness,
or the happiness of pursuit.
It is a maxim among marriage and family counselors that
problems in the living room cause problems in the bedroom,
and vice versa.
The French writer La Rochefoucauld wrote,
"One forgives to the degree that one loves."
Isn't the reverse even more true?
"One loves to the degree that one forgives."
People who focus all their attention on success don't have any fun,
and vice versa.
Seven Suggested Advertising Slogans:
1.
For National Public Radio:
"Get Into Your Radio.
And Let Your Radio Get Into You."
2.
For the History Channel:
"Bringing History to Life.
Bringing Life to History."
3.
Holiday Ad for a Liquor Company:
"The Spirit of Giving
Includes
the Giving of Spirits."
4.
For Bud Lite:
"We Made a Great Beer Light.
And a Light Beer Great."
5.
For the Adult Literacy Project:
"Learn to Read.
Read to Learn."
6.
For Wheaties:
"The Breakfast of Champions.
The Champion of Breakfasts."
7.
For a Great Dance Club:
"The Unbeatable Spot
For an Unstoppable Beat."
No matter what the field of endeavor,
in order to get the best results,
theory must be grounded in practice,
and practice must be guided by theory.
If gratitude is the memory of the heart,
as someone once said,
then memory is the gratitude of the mind.
The successful struggle against depression
might well be called,
a long night's journey into day.
While all prejudices are firmly held convictions,
all firmly held convictions are not prejudices.
In every organization there are
some people who are gone but not forgotten
and others who are forgotten but not gone.
While we tend to focus our attention on wolves in sheep's clothing
it's also possible to occasionally find a sheep in wolf's clothing.
There's no getting around it—listening to others
is still the best way to get others to listen to you.
Instead of saying that people have addictions,
it's probably more accurate to say that addictions have people.
As Spring starts busting out,
men take great pleasure in all the
busts that start springing out.
Women talk in order to clarify their thoughts,
men clarify their thoughts in order to talk.
The only thing more predictable
than the illusion of certainty is the certainty of illusion.
As they approach marriage, men and women make the opposite mistake.
Women hope men will change, but they always seem to remain the same.
Men hope women will remain the same, but they always seem to change.
Some people dance because they're happy;
others are happy because they dance.
Never trust a person who's always critical, and
always distrust a person who never is.
Making an error while in the pursuit of truth is more noble
than stumbling upon truth while in the clutches of error.
When you don't become what you'd like,
try to like what you've become.
Always try to do your best, no matter how bad you feel,
and always try to feel your best, no matter how bad you do.
Men prefer women
who are active sexually
but not sexually active.
When people expect nothing, something can seem like everything;
when people expect everything, something can seem like nothing.
In the age-old battle of the sexes,
the desire of women for commitment
is often pitted against
the commitment of men for desire.
April 2000
Never become the tool of your enemies,
or the enemy of your tools.
Impatient people
burn while other people fiddle.
The only thing men like more than
undressing women with their eyes
is eyeing them when they undress.
The old saying "This too shall pass" applies to everything.
No matter how bad things are, the good news is it won't last forever.
No matter how good things are, the bad news is it won't last forever.
I saw a great bumper sticker the other day:
"I support the right to arm bears."
Farmers, gardeners, divers, and contrarian investors
believe that what goes down must come up.
In medical testing, why is it that
negative results are positive
and positive results negative?
No matter how often people struggle with the idea,
we're always a part of our families,
and our families are always a part of us.
More than 2,000 years before Paul Simon
Archimedes might have written a song called,
"Fifty Ways to Love Your Lever."
Obesity is rampant because when the chips are down,
too many people decide to down the chips.
Fools are of far more value to philosophy
than philosophy is to fools.
The secret of a successful relationship consists of
avoiding the unforgivable and forgiving the unavoidable.
Many leaders with many great qualities
still don't have that elusive quality of greatness.
When all things are considered,
happiness is a far better indicator of success
than success is of happiness.
Two sure-fire ways of becoming a business success are
to find a market for a great product,
or to develop a product for a great market.
Compared to the number of people who have a lust for life,
many more people have what might be called a life for lust.
Isn't it interesting that many people
who love to learn never learn to love?
While it's easy to make a case that "It's great to be average,"
It's difficult to argue that "It's average to be great."
A poem is a painting for the ears,
A painting is a poem for the eyes.
One of life's most interesting reversals is
average people thinking they're extraordinary,
and extraordinary people thinking they're average.
Life has a way of keeping things in balance.
When someone great sees you as small,
there's always someone small who sees you as great.
Love doesn't fade when beauty goes,
as someone once said;
beauty fades when love goes.
It's true that all the world is a stage,
as Shakespeare wisely observed.
But isn't it also true that
the stage is every actor's world.
As we get older,
we often change the things we desire,
but we rarely change our desire for things
Dreams are the wishes of the heart.
Wishes are the dreams of the head.
Just as it's possible to speak of an idea whose time has come,
it's also possible to speak of a time whose ideas are over.
I take a nap nearly every day,
but sometimes it's more accurate to say
that the nap takes me.
(a tip of the hat to Samuel Johnson)
For centuries, religious fanatics have
found errors in the amusements of mankind.
Satirists have seen the same things in reverse,
finding amusement in all those errors.
Some people with the right stuff
keep forgetting that they still
have to do the stuff right.
In a strange perversion, there are some twisted people
who love the detestable and detest the lovable.
May 2000
Maturity can only come when we begin to
question some things we have long accepted, and
accept some other things we have long questioned.
Today, as I celebrate my 58th birthday,
I find special meaning in the old saying,
"It's not the years in your life,
it's the life in your years."
Always question those who advocate,
and always advocate for those who question.
The only thing worse than
believing everything and doubting nothing
is doubting everything and believing nothing.
Sometimes we milk the experience,
sometimes the experience milks us.
For single men on the make,
there are two kinds of women:
the kind to put a hold on,
and the kind to put on hold.
Prisons don't just incarcerate criminals;
they also criminalize the incarcerated.
A great presentation can be ruined by a bad joke,
and a great joke can be ruined by a bad presentation.
Some people have outside interests
that interfere with their jobs.
Some other people have the opposite problem.
Throughout the history of courtship,
unchaste women have been the most chased
and chaste women the most unchased.
People only believe in leaders
when leaders believe in people.
Instead of saying, "What in the name of God am I going to do,"
devout people say, "What am I going to do in the name of God."
Beauty looks in a mirror for signs of ugliness,
ugliness looks for signs of beauty.
It is foolish to overestimate the extent of your wisdom,
and wise to overestimate the extent of your foolishness.
When we're young, everything is possible;
when we're old, possibilities are everything.
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