Back to Dr. Mardy's Aphorisms

Dr. Mardy's 2007 Aphorisms

You were born an original, so don't die a copy.

The high cost of living is a minor problem
when compared to the cost of high living.

Most of us recognize how important it is
to listen respectfully when our loved ones are talking;
but we often forget that it is equally important
to talk respectfully when they are listening.

The voice of reason is inaudible to irrational people.

In all your relationships,
you're never too small to make a big contribution,
and never too big to make a small one.

Most people view philosophy as thought, and not action.
But rightly regarded, philosophy is action guided by thought.

People sometimes forget when you remember,
but they always remember when you forget.

You don't need the best of everything to be happy,
but you do need to be happy to enjoy the best of everything.

We're closest to finding ourselves just when we feel the most lost.

Music doesn't have to be your livelihood to make your 'hood lively."

If you strive too hard for happiness you will never achieve your goal.

People will fervently believe a lot of pretty outlandish things
in order to avoid the pain of actually thinking for themselves.

It is often said that
understanding does not indicate agreement.
It is less well accepted, but also true, that
agreement does not always indicate understanding.

People who parade their holiness are
operating dangerously close to the sin of pride.

Never focus so much on self-development
that you neglect the world;
and never focus so much on the world
that you neglect the development of your self.

Excessive wealth is a great problem
masquerading as a great good.

We tend to see our character flaws as simple defects,
and the simple defects of others as character flaws.

Tying the knot, as it turns out, is a perfect metaphor for marriage.
Like knots, relationships can be well-tied or poorly-tied.
But no matter how well-tied, they tend to loosen over time.
When tied skillfully and periodically monitored,
they are able to hold things together, even through turbulent times.
And when tied unskillfully or ignored over time,
they are unable to contain even the most precious cargo.

Even though it runs counter to popular belief,
Life's critical decisions are usually made in the heart
and only later ratified by the brain.

Sometimes I wonder which is worse—
confrontational people who are afraid of caring
or caring people who are afraid of confrontation.

No matter how hard people have tried,
it's impossible to build a life out of things.

People who are driven to make a lot of money
generally labor under the illusion
that money will make a lot out of them.

A new chiastic toast:
Here's to love from the people you respect
and respect from the people you love.

Men are like microwave ovens; they heat up immediately,
but things start to boil over after about three minutes.
Women are like conventional ovens; they take twenty minutes
to heat up, but can go on cooking for hours.

Women often want men to change,
and are disappointed when they stay the same.
Men often want women to stay the same,
and are disappointed when they change.

People generally feel the greatest craving
for the things they need the least,
or the things they don't need at all.

We can never truly understand the people we hate;
we can never truly hate the people we understand.

Many people have lost their way
while searching for the truth;
and just as many others have found the truth
shortly after thinking they had lost their way.

A number of people had questions about—and even questioned the validity of—this observation. When I explained what I meant, they liked my reply so much they urged me to share it other subscribers. So here it is:

Thanks for your note and your query about my recent observation. I too have been on a lifelong quest for the truth, but agree with Vaclav Havel, who wrote, "Seek the company of those who seek the truth, and run away from those who have found it." Therefore, I think that fanatics, fundamentalists of every stripe, and all True Believers (in Eric Hoffer's sense of the term), are all people who have lost their way on a quest for the truth. Regarding the second part of my observation, many people in the middle of a life crisis believe they have lost their way, only to discover on the other side of the crisis that the experience was the best thing that ever happened to them. This is partly what John Dewey meant by "the teachable moment," and what JFK was talking about when he offered his famous saying that the Chinese symbol for "crisis" is composed of two characters: "danger" and "opportunity." Hope that clarifies what I meant.

Always remember that your life is your job,
and not vice versa.

One of the great lessons of history is that
people who were absolutely sure
they were right … were generally wrong.

If you want to see acts of enormous tolerance and generosity,
ask people to describe their own weaknesses and fatal flaws.

If all of human existence is like a grand painting,
then every individual life is a self-portrait.

The worst memory is the one that remembers everything.

To lead a more satisfying life,
accept the things you cannot change,
and change the things you cannot accept.

You can listen to people without loving them,
but you cannot love people without listening to them.

Robert Louis Stevenson once wrote,
"Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences."
What he didn't say, but might have, is that
we spend a lifetime preparing the menu,
but are often dissatisfied when the meal is finally served.

In most aspects of life, too much of something
is just as bad—and often much worse—than too little.

Most marriages would benefit enormously if both people
asked—and then honestly answered—the question,
"What must it be like to be in a relationship with me?"

Whenever you want other people to change, try to recall
how successfully you've been able to change in the past.

People reveal far more about themselves
when describing other people
than they do when describing themselves.

The brain and the heart are like the oars of a rowboat.
When you use only one to the exclusion of the other,
you end up going around in circles.

In physical fitness, the stretching comes before the exercise;
in mental fitness, the exercise comes first, the stretching after.

People who are most interested in telling the truth about others are
generally the least interested in having the truth told about themselves.

The struggle between reason and passion is a lifelong battle,
with periodic victories for each side,
and an uneasy truce holding most of the time.

In all human affairs, the wisest course is to
be passionate about the role of reason
and reasonable about the role of passion.